Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
Found this book sitting on my book shelf–what a welcome surprise! This was one of my pre-bedtime reads and I finished it off in a week–Anne Lamott can write! I’d never read her before and loved her 1994 primer on writing. It’s chock full of funny, self-deprecating anecdotes and advice for not only aspiring writers but also literature lovers in general.
As a book lover, her passion resonated with me as she recalls books’ place in her own life dating back to her childhood.
“Because for some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth.”
And this:
“I read more than other kids. I luxuriated in books. Books were my refuge. I sat in corners with my little finger hooked over my bottom lip, reading in a trance, lost in the places and times to which books took me.”
And throughout the book she name checks several important authors: Wendell Berry (my fave), Alice Adams, John Gardner, J.D. Salinger, Phillip Lopate, E.L. Doctorow, Muriel Spark, and Ethan Canin as she passes on bits of their writing advice too (see my key quotes section). I’ve been a big fan of Wendell Berry since ‘discovering’ last year (see one of my reviews here), and some others I’d heard of but I discovered some new ones for investgation.
The fact that the book holds up so well three decades later is a testament to her writing skill–the humor and light heartedness hold up as does her sage advice to aspiring writers:
“Writing is about learning to pay attention and to communicate what is going on.”
"Write about that time in your life when you’re so intensely interested in the world, when your powers of observation were at their most acute, when you felt things so deeply. Exploring and understanding your childhood will give you the ability to empathize, and understanding and empathy will teach you to write with intelligence, insight, and compassion."
“Remember no one is reading your first drafts.”
Looking for book ideas? Check out our 2026, 2025, 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015 and 2014 reading lists!
Key Quotes
Page xx
The author comments about the power of writing when she says: “When I read Catcher in the Rye for the first time and knew what it was like to have someone speak for me, to close a book with a sense of triumph and relief, like one lonely, isolated, antisocial animal finally making contact.”
Page xxi
Speaking about her childhood obsession with books, she says: “I read more than other kids. I luxuriated in books. Books were my refuge. I sat in corners with my little finger hooked over my bottom lip, reading in a trance, lost in the places and times to which books took me.”
Page xxiii
Her dad's writing advice to her: “Do it every day for a while. My father kept saying, 'Do it as you practice the scales on a piano. Do it by prearrangement with yourself. Do it as a debt of honor. Make a commitment to finishing things.'”
Page xxvii
The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.
(Author references the poem by Wendell Berry called “The Wild Rose.”)
The Wild Rose
By Wendell Berry
Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,
suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,
and once more I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before
Page 3
“Good writing is about telling the truth.”
Page 6
When her students ask her how she does it, she says: “You sit down. I say, you sit down at approximately the same time every day. This is how you train your unconscious to kick in for your creativity.”
Page 7
“Go ahead and get started.”
Page 10
Good poem by Phillip Lopate.
Starts: “We who are your closest friends…”
Page 13
“Because for some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth.”
Page 17
“E.L. Doctorow once said that: 'Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.'” The author continues: "You don’t have to see where you’re going. You don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, that I’ve ever heard."
Page 18
“Writing can be a pretty desperate endeavor, because it is about some of our deepest needs: our need to be visible, to be heard, to make sense of our lives, to wake up and grow and belong.”
Page 21
Holds Muriel Spark’s writing in high esteem.
Muriel Spark (1918–2006) was a Scottish novelist and poet known for her unique storytelling style and exploration of complex themes. Her most famous novel, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, centers on a domineering teacher at a girls' school, while Memento Mori delves into the psychological aspects of her characters. Spark's works often blend satire with serious themes, reflecting her personal experiences and religious convictions. She was also a critical biographer and editor, contributing significantly to the literary world.
Page 24
A friend of mine says that the first step is the downdraft: you just get it down. The second draft is the updraft – you fix it up.
Page 25
Quitting these voices is at least half the battle I fight daily. But this is better than it used to be. It used to be 87%. Left to its own devices, my mind spends so much of its time having conversations with people who aren’t there. I walk along defending myself to people, or exchanging repartee with them, or rationalizing my behavior, or seducing them with gossip, or pretending I’m on their TV talk show or whatever. I speed and run an aging yellow light or don’t come to a full stop, and one nanosecond later I’m explaining to imaginary cops exactly why I had to do what I did, and insisting that I did not in fact do it.
Page 27
Perfectionism will ruin your writing.
Page 38
Writing a first draft is very much like watching a Polaroid develop. You can’t know—and in fact you’re not supposed to know—exactly what the picture is going to look like until it has finished developing.
Page 43
In her chapter on creating characters, the author writes: “You need to find out as much as possible about the interior life of the people you are working with.”
Page 46
One idea that the author has in this chapter is: “What little things would your characters write in their journals?”
Page 47
Reference to Ethan Canin.
He writes: “Nothing is as important as a likable narrator. Nothing holds a story together better.”
Page 48
On creating her own characters, she writes: “I like for them to have hope.” Later she writes: “Novels ought to have hope. At least, American novels ought to have hope. French novels don’t need to.”
Page 50
She also writes: “Another thing we want: we want a sense that an important character, like a narrator, is reliable.”
Page 52
Writing on plot, the author says: “Plot grows out of character. If you focus on who the people in your story are, if you sit and write about two people you know and are getting to know better day by day, something is bound to happen. Characters should not, conversely, serve as pawns for some plot you’ve dreamed up.”
Page 53
In creating a plot, the author suggests you have to keep asking yourself: “Now what happens?”
Page 55
The author builds on John Gardner’s advice that the writer is creating a dream that we’re drawn into, as she notes that: “The dream must be vivid and continuous… You simply have to find out what happens next, and this is how you want your reader to feel.”
John Gardner (July 21, 1933 – September 14, 1982) was an American novelist and poet known for his philosophical fiction and notable works such as "Grendel" and "The Sunlight Dialogues."
Early Life and Education
John Champlin Gardner was born in Batavia, New York. He grew up on a dairy farm, where he developed a love for literature and poetry, influenced by his parents. Gardner attended Washington University in St. Louis, where he earned his A.B. in 1955, and later obtained his M.A. and Ph.D. from the University of Iow
Page 56
On drama, the author notes: “Drama is the way of holding the reader's attention. The basic formula for drama is setup, buildup, payoff.”
Page 58
On climax, the author notes: “The climax is that major event, usually towards the end, that brings all the tunes you’ve been playing so far into one major chord, after which at least one of your people is profoundly changed… For the climax, there must be a killing or a healing or a domination.”
Page 59
Reference to an Alice Adams lecture on short story structure. The author shares Alice Adams' formula, which is ABDCE, standing for Action, Background, Development, Climax, and Ending.
Alice Adams: A Pioneer in American Literature
Alice Adams was a pioneering American author known for her insightful explorations of women's lives and relationships. Born in 1926 in North Carolina, she graduated from Radcliffe College and later lived in Paris before settling in California. Adams gained recognition after the publication of her first novel, Careless Love, which featured a strong, adventurous heroine. Throughout her career, she wrote several novels and short stories, often focusing on complex female characters navigating societal expectations, love, and personal identity. Her works, such as Superior Women and Listening to Billie, delve into the intricacies of women's experiences across different eras, reflecting on themes of empowerment and vulnerability. Adams was noted for her realistic dialogue and detailed character portrayals, which earned her accolades and comparisons to contemporaries like Joyce Carol Oates. She continued to write until her passing in 1999, leaving behind a legacy that highlights the multifaceted nature of women's live
Page 64
On dialogue, she writes: “Dialogue is THE way to nail character, so you have to work on getting the voice right.”
Page 68
“Remember no one is reading your first drafts.”
Page 69
“One last thing: dialogue that is written in dialect is very tiring to read. If you can do it brilliantly, fine. If other writers read your work and rave about your use of dialect, go for it. But be positive that you do it well, because otherwise it is a lot of work to read. Short stories and novels that are written in dialect make our necks feel funny.”
Page 71
The author writes in her chapter on set design on how you can learn to describe and write about things you don’t know about by reaching out to friends or family. She writes: “You may need to call one of your friends or relatives who has or had a great deal of money and ask them as tactfully as possible to help you design a house where some old gentry lived.”
Page 86
In her chapter on plot treatment, she shares with her classes an actual manuscript of hers for a plot treatment.
Page 91
“Writing is about learning to pay attention and to communicate what is going on.”
Page 95
On paying attention and its power, the author writes: “To be engrossed by something outside ourselves is a powerful antidote for the rational mind.”
Page 102
In her chapter on the moral point of view, she writes: “A moral position is not a slogan or wishful thinking. It doesn’t come from inside or above. It begins inside the heart of a character and grows from there.”
Page 127
The author uses index cards to remember things; she always carries some and a pen with her so she can jot down notes. She writes she learned to do this because: “I used to think that if something was important enough, I’d remember it until I got home where I would simply write it down in my notebook like some normal functioning member of society. But then I wouldn’t.”
Page 129
A funny quote she says: “When a child comes out of your body, it arrives with about a fifth of your brain clutched in its little hand.”
Page 138
On harvesting your friends' expertise for material, she writes: “The truth is that there are simply going to be times when you can’t go forward in your work until you find out something about the place you grew up, when it was still a railroad town, or what the early stages of shingles are like, or what your character would actually experience the first week of beauty school. So figure out who would have this information and give that person a call. It’s best if you can think of someone who is witty and articulate, so you can steal all of his or her material.”
Page 142
“This can be a very comforting habit, like biting your nails.”
Page 181
The author discusses approaching writing as writing a present for someone, in other words, telling a story or something about someone's life that you could give to someone as a gift. Using that as a way to get started, she writes: "Write an incredibly shitty, self-indulgent, whiny, mewling first draft. Of course, I will. Then take out as many of the excesses as you can.”
Page 183
On finding your voice, the author writes about the importance of finding your voice, and from how you grew up in your childhood and the fact that you have to come to grips with saying: “I will not be silenced again.” She goes on to say they were good children who often felt invisible and who saw some awful stuff. But at some point, they stopped telling what they saw because when they did, they were punished.
Page 185
She goes on to counsel people to get over the reticence of worrying about what family members and other people are going to think, telling people they need to “write as if your parents are dead.” That’s hard advice.
Page 187
“Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth.”
Page 203
Precautions against thinking of publication as the be-all and end-all. Quotes a scene/person from Cool Runnings, the Jamaican bobsled movie, who says: “If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.”
Page 209
In her chapter on the last class, she tells her students the frequent advice: "Write about your childhood," I tell them for the 18th time. "Write about that time in your life when you’re so intensely interested in the world, when your powers of observation were at their most acute, when you felt things so deeply. Exploring and understanding your childhood will give you the ability to empathize, and understanding and empathy will teach you to write with intelligence, insight, and compassion."
Page 210
She continues in the same vein, saying: “Write toward vulnerability.”
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